Free Advice Saturdays

Tonight, I went to a friends house to watch the De la Hoya-Mayweather fight. It was pretty fun. A guys night out if you will. Just a bunch of guys, beer, cards, and sports.

This one guy related an interesting story to the group and I, being the advice guy that I am, had to put in my two cents worth.

So, here we are, Free advice Saturdays. If any of you guys are in this situation, hope this info helps you out. I am going to write this one in a question and answer format, to make it more like that ask Dr. Ruth column.

So, here is this guys situation: He's been dating this girl for about 6 months, and when she took him home to meet her mother, he was instantly attracted to her. She's 53 and incredibly hot. Also, she's been giving him those flirtatious signs, and now he has gotten this incredible urge to bang her. He wanted to know if this was normal, is he a sick perv, or should he go for it.

My response: Beware the elder pussy. Not that there aren't a lot of scintillating older women in this world. God knows that nothing conjures more evil thoughts in my loins than the sight of a forty-something mom with a tramp stamp on her lower back, trying to snake her ass into the same skinny jeans as her teenage daughter. And there are a lot of older women out there I would gladly hop in the sack with for a wild romp. Many times, the older, more experienced ladies are the best in bed. I love MILF's.

But your situation if very different. For one, you are dating her daughter. Secondly, you have the father/husband to deal with. And third, you are only 24 years old and your girl friend is 22. Let's break this down.

For one thing, you're gonna risk losing your young and undeniably tight-assed girlfriend for a woman whose ass – no matter how nice it may look in jeans – has got 53 years of mileage on it. Second, you run the risk of having two women want to slice your balls off with a cleaver. And lastly – and this is most important – think of your girl's dad. Bad enough he's already pissed that you're trying to make time with his little girl. If he finds out you're after his wife as well, you may find yourself at the bottom of the Des Moines River. And not in a good way. Roll with the young, my friend.