MILFS

There is so much going on in the world today. Wars, terrorism, freaks shooting people up, gas prices going towards $3.00 a gallon again. What more can this country face!!!

Well, there is something that needs to be addressed. It has been a perplexing topic for several years now, but it is just entering the mainstrean phase of being a phenomenon. I am talking about the MILF!!! Yes, the MILF!!

I'm a MILF purist. Stifler's Mom from American Pie is the original MILF (see pic above), and remains the standard to which all MILF's will be judged. She.was simultaneously blowzy and sultry, her defining quality was the ability to either squish Finch (her much younger admirer) like an ant, or give him the best sex of his life. There's the tension; there's the art. With a MILF, you just never know.

Since then, tacky pop culture has debased the definition. It seems that any woman with a child has been called a MILF. Angelina Jolie, WTF, has been designated one. Listen up, people! Those kids are adopted. This does not count towards MILFdom. A MILF has had kids through either her vagina or through her abdomen (if a c-section). Angelina Jolie is cheating!!

A man should recognize a MILF immediately upon introduction. Marg Helgenberger is one; Cate Blanchett is not. Sharon Stone is; Gwyneth Paltroon....sorry, Paltrow, is not. The only strict definition I'm prepared to issue is that their children should be under nineteen years old, but then I look at Raquel Welch , and figure that I might be wrong there too.

Back here in the real world, the rise of the MILF is unfathomable. The baby boom has given us a cornucopia of delicious moms, and every man worth a pinch wants some.

MILFs: they don't tell, they don't swell, and they're as grateful as hell.
GOD BLESS THE MILFS!!!!!!!