Free Advice Fridays

Dear E: Whenever my girlfriend gets drunk, she's all over her roommate. Her roommate's a girl also, which seems pretty cool, but she's sometimes so busy making out with and feeling up her roomie she almost forgets I'm in the room. I used to think it was for show, but she does it even when it's just the three of us hanging out. Should I be nervous that my girlfriend's gonna switch teams on me?

Buddy, the only thing you should be concerned about is that she might start feeling up her roomie and you're not around to see it. Honestly, who the fuck complains that his girlfriend makes out with other hot young women? I know many guys who would kill to be in your position, and most would be trying to find a way to take it all to the next level, scheming some bizarre scenario involving a kiddie pool full of whipped cream, dog leashes, fireworks, leather straps and masks, Crisco oil, cheerleader outfits and a full-on game of "twister." You should be, too. And if you're not taking it upon yourself to film it all to share with your buddies later, then you're not much of a friend at all. Get with the program Dude!!